Forgot to mention

heheheh am watching Zombieland online..funny movie...pity its not so clear and crisp. But oh well be thankful :D

Thankful

My grandma is now out from the ward, had the MRI last Saturday and the doctor said that she will have to have an operation and have a screw inserted. Scary. The operation will be sometime next year, maybe in January. I will be back in KL by that time. I hope everything will be fine, the operation will be going on smoothly and she will have a smooth and easy recovery. For now she has to wear the neck brace.

Last Saturday as well, I got a new laptop or is it notebook. It is a Compaq Presario CQ40 621AU. It is light though not as light as the Acer Aspire One 10.1" or 11.6" but light enough. It is not the colour that I wanted, it only come in black colour. I wanted blue or red as were the choices available with the Acer Aspire. I wanted a small one, easier for me to carry around. But its light enough. Honestly, it is not what I wanted, but it is what I needed. Between the two, need trumps up want.

I have to be thankful that I have a laptop now. I have to be thankful that my grandma is ok.

I am thankful that I have a working laptop, and I am thankful that my grandma is ok.

Soon it will be Christmas, so being thankful I should be, as everyday I should be.

Tiredness

Feel so tired I could go to sleep now till morning.

Kept grandma company from around 7 pm on Dec 1 till 7 pm plus Dec 2. That night I did not sleep well; I dozed off then suddenly was awakened by other patients. There is one patient there that kept on moaning and moaning from night till afternoon. I saw that my grandma might not be sleeping well as well, but when I asked her, she said she slept quite well..hmm...good then hehhee.

I was not really tired of course when I started, I read HP until near 2 am I think, then I thought I better go to sleep now as they might want to turn down the lights but like I said..did not slept well. Oh well.

Tonight is J's turn. Hope she gets a good night sleep and nothing bad happen during her turn to keep grandma company. Yeah she can do it!!

And grandma can do it too...she will be happy, healthy and safe always!! :D

My grandma is not well

She has just been admitted and will be having a CT Scan later at 2 pm.

My mom and my grandma went to see the doctor this morning and only my mom came back home. She said my grandma was admitted immediately and given a neck brace. Its got something to do with her C1 and C2 spinal cord or something.

My mom and my sister went back to the hospital again with lunch and stuff for grandma. I will be with grandma later this evening, look after her and keep her company this whole night.

I really hope everything will be all right.

Sunday...

Woke up quite late today as last night slept late, watching movies hehehe. Went shopping again, this time for some fabric to make into baju kurungs. Yup my closet will be full of baju kurungs soon.

Saw some lovely looking fabric but finally went back to the first shop we went into as it has 3 for RM45 and 3 for RM50 for another type of fabric. I got the second choice. The colours? The usual one I usually wear; purple, pinkish red and blue. This fabric has no flower prints on it so you could say it is quite plain but i like it.

Sat Evening

Got back from shopping, well i bought a shirt for my sister, saw some really beautiful clothes but did not get it because well i don't think i would look good in it hehehe. but maybe i should buy it and make it my motivation to be healthy hehehehe.

saw things, beautiful things, went walking (hehe got some exercise), ate good food, drank good drink, the taxi drive back here made me dizzy (still am) but so far the day had progressed to be a good day and i am glad :).

tomorrow is a brand new day and i hope to get some fabric to make into clothes hehehe.

got some new movies to watch too so i better get started hehee.

Sat Morn

so here it is, Sat morning hoping for everything to be better than yesterday. it started out not very badly but not very good as well. expectations were not met. i guess better to not have high expectations or to have no expectations at all to better take care of the heart.

or maybe i just want more, more more more. more before the time ends. but i have no luck this weekend for more, there is one sat left next week, better to not expect too much or not expect anything at all. but i do have to return some stuffs, so a fleeting meeting is all i can have, even though i was offered a fleeting meeting this morn, i could not accept, for fear of missing too much later on.

i apologized for wanting too much, for expecting too much, for thinking that i, at least, have a small place in a busy schedule, although busy, but the time for meeting is not just to pass some stuff and leave, without a hug or some physical touching. there it is, my side of wanting some romance in my life, making myself miserable for not having it when i so yearned for it, miss it. but i could not have it, so maybe next time, somewhere in the future.

after this, i will not be miserable, i will try to have fun, even with superficial people.

depressed

i just feel so depressed today. kept thinking about time, the little time i have here and the time there and time to be spent somewhere else don't know where. it just makes me sad, not being able to meet with certain people but no one understands it. no one ask how am i doing for the last few days even weeks, no one close that is. no one from family ask me how am i doing here. even the one 'near here' only rarely ask me how am i doing. i usually have to start the asking around, which i don't think is fair.

so i thought, if i am going to be sent somewhere remote, i will definitely not hear from anyone close to me for as long as i am at that remote place. if it is 3 years then 3 years of nothingness from them. 3 years of longing to hear from them. 3 years of loneliness.

i don't know, maybe i will be better by morning, this thoughts maybe brought on by my hormones as it is that time of the month again after it being pushed further up by medicines. now the hormones are raging inside of me and making me feel tooooo much, think tooooo much and perhaps act and say toooo much.

but these thoughts are not new in my head, i have thought about it before and now here it is again. perhaps there are truth in them, hopefully not. i have heard that it will change, but somehow it always goes back to this and me feeling worse off. perhaps they really are busy and tired and think well of me, but a simple hello is really quite simple, a small quick meeting is possible if before it was possible, but why now then it is so hard to do? so hard to have? why does it make me feel lost and needy?

there, the same words again typed as before.

hopefully i will be better by morning.

What did you say??

She said she does not have the money to eat big for the mentors' birthday, she wants to save her money to last her till the 23. But there she is spending her time and most probably money in Mv. Spending her money on food and/or as she mentioned before leaving..jeans. She just messaged me telling she will be late and spending more time in MV. So is that not having money and wanting to save money? Yeah right. Let us see if she comes back with plastic bags. Lots of them.

*sigh*

Just wanted to get that off me. Ever since coming back from CH, I feel bad tempered, most probably because of the flu, but I think also because I saw what my so called friends are really while out in the open. They are selfish, stuck up people with nothing else in their minds except their own self and pleasure, minta puji and think that they are all better than others. Hell this all started from before CH but at the camping. I can take care of myself, but of course everyone needs friends, but where was mine? Off by themselves, not bringing me in with them. Fine, I survived camping but I did saw what they really are.

I might have not behaved well myself but does that make it all right for them all to alienate me? The first night I had only an hour and 15 minutes sleep, roughly. I went inside our camp at 4.15 am and woke up at 5.30 am or so to prepare to go to Moral at 6 am. Then I had to stay up again till 1 am to do sentry?? Yeah right, I am tired and drowsy and pissed off!! Why did I stayed up late anyway on the first night? To do the stupid gerbang. Sure it shouldn't have been put off till late at night but we had no time to do it. We did have time in the afternoon but A told us to put it down. So we did. Then others put it up but it looked awful, so we redid it again and that was why we stayed up late. We did try to round up a few help but no one wanted to help. And the few help that we got, later on they went to sleep. Only a handful of us was up, helping. Me, A, P (my roommate), C, S and B. B was the commander, and he told us that we didn't have to stay up late tomorrow night. So I was pissed when I was told to stay up till 1 am. I wanted my sleep, I was barely working or standing. When I tried to tell the others my reason for not wanting to do sentry, none of them wanted to listen! Well, I just went to sleep. At 1 am I woke up again and heard them talk about who is doing what time for sentry. They mentioned my name for 3 am. WHAT?? I want to sleep. Fine, just wake me up then when the time comes but no one woke me up. Around 5 am I woke up and heard them talking about no one helping M to cook breakfast. So I got up and went to help and the atmosphere I felt there was cold...I just kept my mouth shut.

The second incident was when taking water. Me, P and A went to take water in 2 big gallons. When we arrived at the place, P said she wanted to pee, so she left. A and me filled up both gallons, then I had to pee. So I told A and she told me to go, so I went. The toilet was full (only 4) but I really need to pee. So I waited in line (I was next after the girl in the toilet). After I was done I went out and the gallons was not there. P was still in the toilet because she said she wanted to do number 2, so I left and went back to camp. Both gallons was there and when I went to search for A to tell her sorry, she did not want to listen. And the rest that helped her also did not want to look at me nor talk to me. So fine, I just kept quiet. But I feel hurt of course. I guess I was wrong to pee when I had to pee. After that they were all very cold at me.

Fine. I ignored them as well, as much as I could.

In CH, the same feeling, though I feel much more relaxed. I did not bring my wet towel because well it was wet, there were only 2 towels at the hotel, one go to P another to E. So I had to use my sarong for a towel. Worked out fine. Though a bit pissed off when the towel was grabbed from my hand the first day. Fine.

I forgot to bring my Broadband, was dizzy, still tired from camping, felt like I was coming down with flu with the cold and tiredness. Wanted to eat pork the first day there at CH, since it had been quite a while but since Y was following and she is not a pork eater, we/I could not. She was even mad at me for mentioning it. Goodness, I only mentioned the shop name which is Chinese, got steamboat and seafood and hinted that perhaps they have pork, and she was mad at me!? Duiiii....janganlah ikut, and bukannya saya bawa ko p makan sana budu!!

Last last, went to eat at Malay shop, tomyam and egg with white rice. Why?? Because of Y la what else...shit

Goodness I am tired and still have runny nose. Will resume this ranting session later tomorrow.

Why why why

Why am I stuck with such people? Of course one must be able to live with other people and more so with impossible people but why someone like her?

I should be thankful that it is not for a long time but even these few months have been really testing my patience and gag reflex. The way she talks and what she says is very mean. It seems that she does not realize what she is saying and how she says it but for sure she has no tact and no sense at all, no sense in that she could not see what she says is hurtful to others. She thinks that she is the most beautiful person and she has many admirers so she is can say things like that person is ugly, why she has a boyfriend or how could a boy likes her. She is fat I am thin, I am clever, hardworking, many admirers...these are the things that she likes to say. For me, if I saw someone with a weight problem, I would not say straight to that person's face that she is fat, since that would be very rude. But her, she would say it out loud and usually in front of many people. Saya kena hari tu and many more since then.

I try and do the best I can not to be rude back to her but it is very hard. And more so today or rather just now about an hour ago. We (her, myself and another girl) were talking about the moral theories and I said that I think I have practised a bit of the Deontology theory in that I have the same motto as the Golden Rule of the Deontology theory which is Do Unto Others as You Would Want Others Do to You. But I have not finished what I wanted to say that she cut me off saying really? But you are sombong., then she laugh. I was shocked and hurt. I could not say anything much after that, I was that shocked.

Even if I am sombong (which I don't think I am, I hope not), she does not have to say it outloud. I also think that she is a bitch but do I say it to her face? No! I say it out loud here hehehehehe.

She thinks she is so much better than anyone. She may be pretty outside but inside is rotten as hell. And yet she sleeps with the bible beside her. She is lazy, rude, tactless, mata duitan kind of girl.

YUCK!!

This is Life..or is it?

I am still here. Last weekend was the greatest for me. Thanks Honey.

I have been calling Honey with a new name lately. I sometimes call him Darling. I don't know why, it just came naturally. Hehehe.

I have finished reading the book I bought in KK, titled Feel the Fear..And Do It Anyway. At the end or almost at the end of the book, it said that one should be thankful for what they have in their lives. Thank those in their lives. It mentioned something about writing what you feel thankful for in a little beautiful notebook. I found a few beautiful notebook but the frugal person in me said not to get it because it was quite expensive for me. So instead I bought a small Garfield notebook at only RM1.20. The Garfield picture was quite cute too, Garfield in a raincoat with the buttons stretching to cover him hehehe. I wrote a few lines in it already.

I have been having problems regarding school work and noise pollution lately. I just seem to be very behing with my school work. I have at least 4 or 5 due next week and not 1 is finished. I have 2 due on Monday, 1 on Wednesday and 2 on Friday. Not sure when the Music one is due. Then there are those works due after the holidays. I won't be going back home this time. There are just too many things to do.

I also need to lose some weight. Been eating a lot lately and I just don't feel good about it.

Regarding the noise pollution, it has been very noisy lately in my room since the arrival of the 2 kids from here. They or one of them but the other one is also singging along, will turn up the volume of her laptop and play songs that is just not so good to hear, especially on high volume. Then she woulp play these songs at night, all the time till it is HER time to go to sleep. We have many assignments to do that of course need thinking and peace and quiet, but does she understand that or have common sense enough to be aware of what she is doing? NO!! Obviously she does not have any. Then she will plopped herself right in the middle of the floor which 4 others are sharing to do their own work. She will be in the middle and her stuff will surround her. How inconsiderate that is!!

I will speak to her calmly if she is again inconsiderate tonight with the noise.

To go to School

I will be going to SK Senibai for the School Based Experience for 2 weeks starting tomorrow, Monday. I will be going with 3 more people, all girls or rather women hehehe.

SK Senibai is in Johol, Negeri Sembilan. So this will be my second time traveling to Negeri Sembilan. The other day during BIG, I have crossed over to Melaka hehehe as well as Negeri Sembilan.

While there for 2 weeks, Honey will be coming over. Hope to see him during the weekends. Will see him during the weekends hehehe.

Here I am

It has been a while, I am here already since end of June and now soon going to be August. I have one week of class before I go for my School Based Experience or SBE. My place will be in Kuala Pilah in Negeri Sembilan. The school is one that the lecturer says for the orang asli there. There will be a quarters for us, but I rather not think about that for now.

I have other things on my mind. This laptop which has a temper, the many assignments that I have not done or finished it yet, and other things.

I miss a lot of people and my pets. I miss the computer at home that does not shut down so suddenly. I feel bad whenever that happens to this laptop. I do not want to ruin it. It is not mine but Honeys'.

I have a headache just thinking about it.

I am here

I am here already. Been here since yesterday.

I was so shaky during the flight. Many thoughts rushing trough my head. Making me panic, nervous, scared and my heart rushing and beating so quickly. Did tried to think positive but the Chatterbox in my head was much more louder. Have to really, really work on that.

Came here with my Mum (thanks Mum), my uncle picked us up and went straight to his home. Later on we went shopping for things needed there. And boy did we get a lot of things...liquid soap, water, biscuit, black shoes, iron, 3 in 1 drinks...loads more. Another worry enter my head..how in the world am I going to get all these to the room. ~ sigh~

Then the matter of bedding and pillows..my uncle gave me a full set of comforter, bed sheet, pillowcase, its just that it is a king size. I could still use it, though I have to fold it in half :). Hmm they (my uncle and his wife) gave me loads of stuff already. They gave me spoons, forks, Tupperware, 2 dishes, bottles for water, laptop bag, hangers, a mouse (not the life one :P) and the comforter and stuff.

Thanks!!

And my dearest Honey, he gave me his laptop and printer to borrow. Really if not for him, I have to forked out Rm1500 at least.....for a laptop. I really do not have that much money with me. My payment cheque is still pending at the bank. And I haven't seen one ATM machine. All banks are closed during the weekend of course.

Thanks Honey! I love you! You look so good when we met this morning, wish I had the chance..no..the guts to hug and kiss you then and there. Oh well....what with my Mum and aunt and uncle there watching, it is not really a good thing to do, guts or no guts :). But you do look great. I do miss you. Looking forward to see you again this August.

So, yes I do have a lot of things with me to carry to the room at the campus. Though I know my Mum could help me, I have burden her a lot this few days. And then if I get a top floor, I really do hope they have lifts there that are working.

Urgh I really do not know if I am able to blog anymore while I am here. Right now this is using wireless with my uncle's passwords. Let us hope that I can yeah :) then I could keep updating this blog with my rants or something positive :)

I miss my cats, my home, my Dad (happy Father's Day!), my sister, my room, will miss my Mom, my Honey, everyone and everything....1 year plus only....help me Lord!

Still....

Still feeling nervous, scared and want to vomit!!

~ I am strong, brave and calm.....~

I can handle it

...I can handle it...

I just feel like vomiting...scared and nervous....

I don't want to go through what I went through before....

Scared and nervous.....feel like vomiting...

Ugh!

What if..

I don't get it, then how??

I'll be stuck or just go anyway, anywhere....

I bought a book...Feel the Fear..and Do It Anyway...I've just read the first few chapters, and reading is very much different with doing something..but the first thing I know or learned is that I can handle it, I'll handle it.

But really, come tomorrow, and if I don't get it, can I handle it? Will I handle it?

We just have to wait and see....

Manila Trip: 15 May 09: The first day

I think it would be better if I just put up some pictures here, pictures of the trip :) and some notes on it if possible. Yup, good one:

This is the view that I got from my seat in the plane, what plane is that all yellow? :D

Do you know now? It is not only yellow but have red letters on it hehehhe. What plane is it? Guess!


Ahh..approaching land soon, this is Philippines already :D almost there :) so pretty isn't it?


Yes we have arrived at Clark Airbase or DMIA which stands for Diosdado Macapagal International Airport. Those 2 looking very loving is my uncle and aunt :) They managed to go even though my uncle had a mild stroke just a few days before this. Thank goodness he is all right now.

Taken from the bus, saw a big advert saying Experience Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysian Borneo. hehhehe.

Saw a lot of wires looking like this, I snap a picture of this because at first I thought those 2 round things were a bicycle but I was wrong hehehe.


This was were we had our dinner before going off to our hotel. The food was delicious, the fruits afterwards, which was in a syrupy liquid tasted a bit too much like panadol for my liking though.


After dinner, take some photos. Yup that is a couple dancing there, there was ballroom dancing at the place we had our dinner. No I did not dance mostly because I was cold and tired and sleepy and also, I was not in the mood to dance :). Yup...but I do still want to learn to dance :) ballroom dance :D


PS: Honey we go learn together ah hehehhe....xoxo

Back from Manila Trip

Yeah I am back from the trip to Manila or as our tour guide Julius called it, Metro Manila :D. I am right now still downloading the pictures that I have taken, and it is almost midnight, and I have to work tomorrow.

We got home around 9 pm or so, so glad to be home :). I am thankful that nothing bad happen to all of us but especially for my parents and aunt and uncle.

I will post about the trip soon, hopefully within this week while the memories are still fresh in my mind :). For now, need to download all the pictures and sort them out, which are clear and blurry and to edit as usual with Picasa.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mum's Day to my mom and all moms in the world :) Hugs!!

Bye-bye to G as he is now on his way to the island with water problems, hope he does not have any problems registering and after registering. Hope he is able to meet up with his friends and make new friends and able to study and pass with flying colours. Hope nothing bad happens to him.

Though we as a family rarely show affection towards one another, I do care and I do worry. I worry a lot.

Do be careful, have fun but take care and study smart.

And..

Happy Mother's Day Mom!! :D

Book 6 Definitely Dead

Is definitely confusing.

I am reading book 6 for a few days now. Yeah..surprise, usually if I really like the story, I could not put it down. But this one, whoa..from one subplot to another mini subplot then suddenly bam in the face her cousin is dead and the vampire that killed her..again...was punished in front of Sookie. Umm when did that happened? I did not read that in Book 5.

Is there another book between book 5 and 6? A book 5 and a half? Hmm.

Did some digging, found a review saying the same thing and he or she found out that there is another book telling about Sookie's cousin's death and et cetera et cetera.

Hmm.

Had the interview, I do not think it went that well at all, but hey...I did my best. Maybe I was not fully prepared, maybe I was too nervous, maybe I just don't understand the question because I was sitting there thinking this is answering the question and the panel said we were not. Well...okie dokie. I did my best.

Things to look forward to: meeting with the Big Cheese about the collection of debt, and the trip to Manila :D yeah!!!!

Fashion: Something for Sookie

Well I like it hehehe.

Holiday

Holiday before the big holiday. Feels good not to go to work hehehe. Feels good to sleep in once in a while, especially on a rainy morning.

Just laze around today, read a bit of Harry Potter and Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire. Watched TV, mostly Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. He is a funny guy. I realized that watching other people, not near to you, vomiting, is funny hehehe. Saw that on Dirty Jobs. Took a nap. Lovely lunch.

Went out for a while with a friend, accompanied her to look for a shirt. Went to reload as well. Told her about the trip I will be taking soon. Nice to have someone be happy and excited for me. Feels good. Not like the customer the other day, saying stuff like oh there is nothing there at all, just the smell of urine. Well...someone sounds bitter or just plain rude. I would never do that. Well I hope I will never be like that.

Can't wait to go. It will be fun and exciting :D.

Saw a bit of True Blood online and on TV. I feel a bit disappointed that they did not follow the book, makes me not want to watch it but I still do want to watch it. Hmmm. I would prefer them to follow the book though. That is just me.

Cute

Smiling in a fangy way.

Wolfy smile.

Hehehe

Vampires and more :D

Yes!! I have heard about Sookie Stackhouse before and I was curious but at that time I was more caught up in the Twilight Saga. But now that I have read the Twilight Saga, and not liking the ending, umm time for more vampires and stuff hehe.

All right, I have not yet finished reading The Lord of the Rings Trilogy but I will, don't worry :).

My curiosity with Sookie Stackhouse and Vampire Bill and all the other characters came to light again after watching True Blood, the series based on the books by Charlaine Harris. I've only watched a few episodes but it was interesting and made me look for the books, all 8 of them hehehe. The 9th book coming out this May 5th.

I've read the first book Dead Until Dark, and I like it hehehe. Now reading the second book Living Dead in Dallas. All the books title have the word Dead in it hehehe:

Book
1: Dead Until Dark
2: Living Dead in Dallas
3: Club Dead
4: Dead to the World
5: Dead as a Doornail
6: Definitely Dead
7: All Together Dead
8: From Dead to Worse
9: Dead & Gone

I hope my eyes can stand this reading. I will take breaks. I am happy though hehehe with my new obsession hehehehe.

The Trip

I have my very first passport made already, yesterday.

It was ready after one hour and a half at 11.30 but we had many things to do like preparing lunch and sending my grandma, 3 cousins and aunt and uncle to the airport after lunch. So we went there again to pick it up after that. And after dropping of G at the bank, for him to open an account there to make it easier for him when he goes to the island. Yeah..Survivor Island..no just kidding.

So my first passport because I so want to go on the trip. But mom said if less than 10 people are going, it would be postponed or the price would be more expensive. So far there are only 4 that want to go : me, mum and dad and the lady organizing this trip. * SIGH*

I don't mind it being postponed, and becoming more expensive as well though I do have a limit. Even yesterday, taking out money from the bank, left is around Rm20.00 only, after paying PTPTN twice. Sure my salary will be going in next week but need to prepare bank-draft for the trip before end of the month.

Urgh...I want to go...Please...I have to convince some people to go...aAaaaAArgh....

Love & hate

I'm in a love and hate relationship right now...with my hair.

Yup, just the other day I said I liked it.

Now, I'm half liking it, half disliking it. Love and hate it at the same time.

I love it that it is short and manageable.

I hate it that I have to spend a lot of time and energy to make it presentable. If not, I would look like I just woke up. Or worse. Or maybe its not. Hmm.

But as always, I will moan and whine about something then after getting it off my system, I will make do with what I have. Move forward, move on.

But of course, easier said than done.

~ I miss a certain someone, but hard to reach them. Well not exactly, easy to reach what with handphones and emails and phones, but what use are all these technologies when in the end no one at the receiving end to pick up and answer or return call, right?

Easier said than done.

Yup.

Moving on now...have to drown myself with music.

New haircut

Went to get a new haircut today. At first mom wanted to go to the one nearest in town, but the hairdresser (?) was not in. So off we went to the usual one in KK.

Got an entirely different cut than before. A shorter and choppier I think. Hard to tell with the mousse and hairspray. But I think I like it :) .... yeah. They said I don't have to brush my hair with a hairbrush anymore heheh just my fingers will do.

Something happened while we were waiting for our turn. The hairdresser was blow drying another patron's hair when suddenly...boom!!...and all the lights and air conditioner and radio went off. The blow dryer got so hot that it..well it didn't really explode to smithereens but it did explode and scared the shit out of the other hairdressers and us hehehe.

Well that was exciting.

Anime madness: Fullmetal Alchemist :D

Yes! Something to look forward to on Friday nights.

One of my fave anime (Yes I still do watch anime, so?? :P ) is Fullmetal Alchemist and it is showing again on Animax :D. This time they follow the manga closely and the name is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Awesome!!

For more info:

http://myanimelist.net/anime/5114/Fullmetal_Alchemist:_Brotherhood

Ed Elric is cute and Al Elric is also cute even in an iron suit hehehe.

Yes..I am happy :D .... see me smiling my head off ...tra la alallaa...can't wait for next Friday :D

Debts

I hate having debts. Its something that will always be at the back of my mind whenever I want to spend some of my hard earned money on myself (though it never was at the back of my mind when I buy cat food or fuel or junk food gahaha).

So here is the situation, my situation.

I graduated on September 2007. If I'm not wrong, I received the debt letter around that year or early 2008, even though many of my friends said that repayment/debt letter will only come after a year or so, as they want to give us time to look for jobs etc. Don't know if it is true. A friend received her letter even before graduation. How in the world do they expect her to make payment when she is not yet working, not yet graduated?

Anyway, I registered to pay through the bank to make it easier. At that time my salary was low, so I could not make a big payment straight away. But I did made payment. Unfortunately, I admit this, I made only 1 payment. I guess I dreamt all the other payment that I though I have made. Huh.

So that was one payment for all the one year. Yup. Bad stupid move. Further complicating the matter was the bank change. So had to register with new bank, but no time or lazy or both, (tehehe oh noes) no registration made for that one year, therefore no payment.

I resolved to make payments this year. So I registered and made the payment. OK I paid Rm100.00. Yup. And just checked the statement. And what greets me was not a smaller (although still big) debt but was more. I was charged at least RM50.00 each month last year and this year. So after the last payment I made my debt was down to 20,000.00 and after the Rm50 per month charge, it went up to 21,000.00 plus. GAH! So now basically I am paying back the RM50.00 charge per month and not the actual debt. In the satement it said the RM50 is 'Kos Pentadbiran'. Hate that!!

Ugh.

Good surprise rather great wonderful surprise was that last night my mom told me about a trip to be organized by SANA to Manila :D next month :D and if :D I :D would :D like :D to :D go :D :D? Hahhahahahhahahhaha

But of course :D ...see me grinning :D

But then, I don't have a passport and have to fork out more money for the trip. Hmm. But I do so want to go, when will I ever have the chance again?

I just have to arrange my time so I could go and make the passport which will need money as well, oh and new pictures. Then work overtime perhaps so I have extra money. Hmm.

Dad said that mom will have to go and renew her passport as well since it has expired so I hope I could tag along..ada kawan la :).

Mom coming back tomorrow, so I will talk with her then.

Oh I do so want to go!

Funny I just ranted about debts and now talking about going on a trip. Well...I can always pay back the debts all my life, but like I said before, when will I have the chance to go again?

What would you do?

Still hot

Went to church again last night, this time we sat outside near the hall and kitchen area with washroom for male and female. After the procession and lighting of candles, we sat down and that was the start of the smells coming in, wafting out to where we sat from time to time. It was not good I tell you.

It was not good but bearable since I have my cardboard fan with me and I fan myself a lot, not only to keep the heat away but also the smell of urine. Eeww. And where else to move to? Everywhere else was packed.

Baptism also took place last night. Not babies but grownups. And there were funny moments there. You see, after the priest pour the water over the head, a guy would wrap the head with their own towels. But the way he wrap it was funny. He would totally cover the face and leave the wet hair sticking out hhehehe. I guess halfway through he realized it and started to cover the actual wet head of hair but some of the towels are big so the face got covered anyway hehehe.

And that was that :)

Updates

The washing machine guy came over last Sunday so the washing machine problem is OK now. I can get my clothes out from there and had to wash it all again, but that is fine too. My brother came over twice I think to fix the printer, and seems to be working fine but last night it was acting up again but after turning it on and off, it was working fine as well. So that was that.

I took a day off on Thursday, my first day off for the year. I thought I would be cleaning the house and then laze around all day, watch movies or surf the net, but I had to go to the bank, register for the Internet banking to pay off my debts hehe. Yeah I got a mountain of debts, school debts. Told my Mom, asking for a ride hehe, then my Dad said better go and get my cousin's MyKad as well since he is not working on that day too. So off we went around 10 am. Went to get the MyKad first, we got there around 10.30 am or so, got the card after waiting quite a while, Mum and I went to have Apple juice at the cafe. Saw a bank there as well, figured might as well take care all of it, like creating a bank account for my cousin. That was around 11.20 or so, and went on till almost 12.30 pm. Ugh I got tired of waiting inside the small bank, so went out to explore. Umm nothing much to explore so I just stood around, till the cleaner asked me who I was waiting for. Wow, can't a person just stand around looking bored?? Guess not, someone will want to know why. Hehehehe.

Stopped over at Kingfisher for lunch. That also took a while, but when the lunch came, it was good :). A rather big serving but I finished it all. Yeah proud of myself indeed...Pffff.

After lunch off we went to the bank at last, took out a sum of money and went to register for the e-banking thing. That also took a while. Then took care of that, saw an EPF kiosk, went to get the statement and guess what? I have no EPF things starting from the month I started working till January 2008. Yeah. Can I claim those, because I am pretty sure they have started to cut off my salary for EPF things starting from the month I work there. Hmm.

Went to church. It was hot.

Friday: went to church. It was hot. A girl fainted.

Sale at CKS: Ikan masin in a plastic jar only RM11.99, cheaper than in other store at RM18.99 or something like that. Mum took 3 jars. Hehehehhehahahaa.

Working today, well soon hehe.

Words

Wonder who will say something first.

Something.

Anything.

Tired, frustrated.

Hard to breathe.

PS: Clothes still in the washing machine, washing machine guy lied, said will come on Saturday but did not show up. I feel like taking a hammer and bashing open the door, but we will see if he show his face today, this Sunday. I will not have the clothes to go to work next week if he do not show up today.

~~~

I feel so...lonely and frustrated.

Still hard to breathe, wonder why?

Old things

Need to be replaced sooner or later, well not necessarily old things, but things that do not work as well as before, like the printer/copier/scanner and the bloody washing machine.

The printer has some problems regarding reading the level of ink available, especially black ink. Even after changing the old black ink which by the way is still half full or half empty depending on how you look at life, the bloody printer can not sense it. It will keep on saying 'Near Empty Black'. I guess this printer is pessimistic. I changed the cartridge of the black in on Wednesday night. New cartridge, full black ink. It still said 'Near Empty Black'. How very frustrating. I felt like throwing it away right then and there. Gah!!

Then last night, after unable to start the washing early in the morning because someone was in the bathroom taking a long time, I had to start it later in the evening after taking my bath. It started well but the end was not there. I mean, there was no spin dry, I was unable to find it, the knob on the machine is not hinged together with the details anymore, after falling flat on its face. So I was looking for it over and over again. Then I gave up, wanted to just do it myself, no spin dry, but then the bloody door would not open. I tried and tried then suddenly it became stuck. This morning I tried to open it again but could not. It really is stuck and I do not know how to unstuck it.

I told my dad.

He replied his usual reply, "What can I do?"

Bloody pumpkin!!

Fine. GAH!

I want to get a new printer and washing machine. But the money..how? A few hundreds fine, I can do that but thousands?

Hmm.

But then, the REAL question is, how to unstuck the door, my clothes are still in there.

I kissed a Vampire..

vampire red - by noif on Polyvore.com

Ahaha just kidding..just a theme :)

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

I now have in my possession, a very expensive book. Well expensive than most books I have bought. The book is..dum dum dum... The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, 3 books in one.

YES!!

Gahahhaaaa.

And I have to be very frugal for the next few weeks now. No more kuih pisang, chocolate drink or other tidbits for myself. Have to do so, if not, the cash will finish quickly. Have to make it till the end or middle of next month. So only important buys like fuel and cat food. Yes, cat food is important to me as it is important to my cats, but that also needs reviewing, have to change their diet to rice and fish..gradually. Have to save where I can.

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel I do not fit in anywhere or with anyone. I don't feel like I belong. I feel alone and lonely, even with many people around me.

Sometimes I rather be alone than be someone I am not, just to be with other people. Sometimes I have to be alone, either that or I would have said something that would hurt other people, or worse.

Sometimes I do not know what to say, and others think I am being proud. Well they are wrong. Sometimes I do have things to say, but I know it would be hurtful so I keep it to myself, why say something that would hurt, better not to say anything at all.

Sometimes I just want to go away, go somewhere far away, to fly and soar in the sky. I have those flying dreams sometimes, and I liked it.

A simple Hello, I Love You

or I am thinking about you would be OK rather than nothing at all. People do need reminding about certain things close to the heart.

I have read a story once in The Chicken Soup for the Soul book, this one lady was sick and was in the hospital, the medicine she was given was not really helping her to get better, she seem depressed as well. So their pastor from their church came and visit her, her husband was there as well. When she talked to the pastor the husband went to get some coffee from the vending machine. The pastor asked her about her everyday life, and somehow it got to the point where she told the pastor that there was only one small thing she wanted so much to hear from her beloved husband and it was I Love You. She said she knows that her husband loves her, but she just wants to hear it sometimes.

So after visiting the lady, the pastor went and talk to the husband, and told him what the lady had said. The husband was surprised and admitted that he rarely say those words to her. "Tell her" said the pastor. And so the husband did.

And the lady became much happier and later on became healthy and was able to leave the hospital. They both live a much happier life after that.

So a little reminding goes a long way. Don't you think? :)

Complete :D

I am now a proud owner of a complete set of Harry Potter books. :D

Went to Popular at Citymall yesterday and actually I was looking for the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but always on the lookout for the first and second book of Harry Potter series, and yesterday I found them :). Have to have it of course hehee.

Was also looking for new jogging shoes, since I will be jogging in the near future hehe, in an effort to be and keep fit. Saw a fairly cheap priced shoes at Giant, Mom persuaded me to get them, so I did. I guess if it is not so good, I will get new and better ones.

Got a new shirt today too. After such a long time.

Hmm I spent quite an amount of money this weekend; books, magazine, a pen, cat food etc. The shirt my Mom paid for me, I will pay her back later. She paid for the shoes too. Hmm will pay that back as well.

Oh finished reading To the Hilt. Now reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone hehehhe.

Fashion smashion !!

blue - by noif on Polyvore.com


Something blue on a sunny day. Could be something to wear to the office, then have a quick lunch with the girlfriends or meeting with the special someone ;).

Fashion smashion !!

Love-ly shoes - by noif on Polyvore.com

I am a bit crazy about shoes hehehe...love all these shoes..

Oh come ye Holiday!

I am reading To The Hilt by Dick Francis again. I like the story very much. I'm reading it now during my lunch hour. Hmm.

I have to make some phone calls later on, I promised between 2 and 3 pm. Might as well get it over with eh? What is it again that they want to know? I have checked back the rates and it is correct, I don't see any mistakes from my part.

But I was kinda insulted just now when a person from my old university called about the consignment notes and about how some do not have the must-have stamp and signature at the back and how come some of the awbs are copies. Goodness, the way she said it, it was like it was our fault rather MY fault that those things happened. Excuse me but this could not possibly be just our fault, I admit that the couriers could deal with these things better, and that the person sending those things should know and sign and stamp the awbs. The same bloody thing is happening again. Why? Why?

And sometimes I get tired when I have to say the same things again and again. Was I like this before? I hope not. Hope the information will stick this time and I don't have to repeat myself again. Maybe it is because the information is not written down? Maybe.

Oh goodness, I can't wait for the holiday even though it is only on Monday but at least that would make my holiday 3 days :D; Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Yeah!! I still have to do some cleaning especially tomorrow morning. Then hopefully can go and shop with Mum. Hmm maybe a haircut as well? And watch Alien 2 and the rest again. And play Polyvore.com hehehhe. I do like clothes and shoes and jewelry. hehehhe.

Oh holiday!! Can't wait for this work-day to end at 5.30 pm hehhehe then I am off!

Fashion smashion !!

cute :P - by noif on Polyvore.com

Owh I love this as well.... *sigh*

Fashion smashion !!

lunch date - by noif on Polyvore.com


Oh I love this..would I dare/be able to wear something like this in the future? :D

Amnesia

I forgot the password to the safe box at work. I forgot! After a year and few month there, never forgetting the password, I forgot it today.

All right, so I changed the numbers many times over the year and few months but I changed it MANY times yesterday because so many people keep on standing there looking at the bloody safe box when I want to punch in the number. I should have said something maybe like please don't stand there, but honestly I feel uncomfortable saying that. I'm uncomfortable saying things like that, that would make other people feel uncomfortable and I don't want them to think that I think they are going to steal the money if they saw and know the password. It just makes me very uncomfortable.

I guess it was stupid of me to think that, since today I completely forgot what the new password I punched in yesterday evening. Panicked but I don't think I showed it hehehe (I think).

I found another way to open the safe box though. The keys to the safe box of course. Thank goodness! Now that I have reset the password and put in another one that I will definitely remember, I just have to say what I have to say next time. But really, why can't they understand it? It is a safe box and only the person handling the safe box should know the password, why do they keep standing and staring at it like they want to know the numbers? Why? Why???!

I do not know

What to do.

Scared of making the wrong decision. Not liking what I have now, thinking that the grass is greener at the other side, afraid that when I get to the other side, it would not be greener but bitter instead.

A week before it ends. Should I say something to someone? I am confused.

I want to do something that I like, I enjoy. I'm not even sure I really want the other side. I know I don't like where I am right now. So shouldn't I try something else? But what?

Oh help me. Very confused.

Books and poop..wow interesting mix

I am bored. Finished reading Sex and The City and The Faraway Tree Collection already. Both books bought, not borrowed.

I am not really happy with the SATC book. It was hard to follow the story, first it was from the writer's point of view then on to Carrie's story, it jumps from one friend to another friend, another interviews and on and on. There was no Charlotte, no Miranda or Samantha as in the series. I guess it is literally as they said, the series is just based on the book. Very loosely I guess . I have to say I much prefer the series than this book. Oh well. At least now I know what the book is about.

Mmm I have always love stories written by Enid Blyton. She will always be one of my favourite writers. I love her mystery series and magical stories. The Five Find-Outers and Dog, I am trying to find and complete the whole set. Famous Five is ok too, but I love the Find-Outers more hehehe. The Faraway Tree Collection, oh what luck :). I love it.

I think I'm starting to become a collector of books. I may need a lot of space; shelves and shelves of books coming hehehhe.

On another note, we have 2 more lost chickens here. Frodo is not chasing them, Nate the male cat is also not chasing them. The bloody chickens are pooping everywhere, eating Mom's veggies (the last chicken who died already..eaten ehehe...killed My veggie) and just being a nuisance really. But it is weird because before, when I was younger, like teenager hehe, when a chicken came into our compound, the owner of the lost chicken would always come and ask for their chicken back. They ask because back then there was no gate to hold in the dog, so they ask us to hold our dog while they get their chicken. Now, no one came. No one at all.

Sometimes I am being paranoid and letting my imagination just run wild. So I was thinking the other day that they do it purposely, setting their chicken loose into our compound. Then they would 'do' something. I don't know what. That is just my imagination though. Hmm. But it is weird and I hate those chickens anyway, what if they poop on the clothes hanging out to dry? Or poop on the car hood and their acidic poop melts the colour of the car away. Hey it happened already before.

Ughh my eyes are hurting again, better stop now. See ya.

Mmmuah HOney, XoxoxoxoxoX!

February already

Wow again so much lateness in blogging.

• Congratulations to cousin Leonie on your engagement last Saturday 31 January 2009. I hear that the wedding would be around December this year or January next year.

• Now I am not a drinker, if got Shandy then I would drink but then not till drunk and vomit here and there. But since there was no Shandy during the engagement at my Grandma's place, I just drank coffee, orange juice and Coke Cola that I stole away (just a mug full :P) hehehe. The Coke Cola was supposed to be mixed with Chivas but what the flower eh? Anyway, as the evening wore on, I saw a lot of people vomiting on the living room floor . Why? I don't know, maybe because they were drunk, so drunk that they could not move quickly enough to go outside and vomit, they could not control their gag reflex or something...nah they were just so drunk..drunkards! Those who vomitted were mostly my cousin's workmates and friends and oh yeah my Mum too. About two or three people managed to vomit on the floor then someone with sense brought them a pail to vomit into. Ugh I SO do not want to be the person in charge of cleaning the pail hahaha.
  

• My left eye rather eyeball has been hurting since last year. I also have this headache on the left side of my head which then would make either my left eye or both eyes hurt and me feeling like gouging my eyes out. It hurt THAT much. Told my parents, both kinda ignored it saying oh it is just a headache, maybe you have migraine and those sort of things. It was so bad after my Grandpa's 100 days, hurt so much more on Wednesday, complained to Dad again, Dad said would talk to doctor on Thursday, got a referral letter to Eye Clinic, aunt who works in Eye Clinic called Thursday night saying appointment Friday morning. Finally! Going to get this checked out.
  

• Went to the Eye Clinic, got checked out, got a medical leave slip even though I did not ask for it hehehhehe and was told I have mild or borderline Glaucoma. Went back home, did some Google research, found out I could get blind if it becomes worse. Was also told at the Clinic that stress would be a reason in causing this, also too much staring at the computer. Need to get a screen for the PC, need to rest eyes every 20 minutes of working in front of the PC, not to get too stress out. (Sheesh my job is not SO Stressful now is it? {I'm being sarcastic, can't you tell}) I have a review again in July, hopefully the pressure in my left eye would be normal or not be getting higher. To be honest, I am scared, scared to be in darkness.
  

• Oooh I almost forgot, we ate the chicken already. No more loose cat poo too hehehe.
  

• Thinking of getting a new handphone, maybe as a Valentine present to myself eh hehehe I like that.

Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blabbbbbbabbbab

My veggie, the sayur sawi that was planted, grew and it was time to transplant them to new soil, but a lost chicken, yup a lost chicken got into our backyard and went and ate those new shoots. I hate you chicken, more so when you poop on my car and all over the concrete floor. And I think you made my cat Nate sick, his poop is very umm very loose. Urgh..I hate you live lost chicken, I will only be happy when you become KFC hahhahaha *evil laugh*

No not really, but come on, the seeds actually grew, new shoots and all, and that chicken went and ate it all :( I found a big poop like a chicken poop on the car, cleaned it but now there is a grey spot where the chicken poop was before. There are chicken poop all over the concrete floor downstairs as well which is dirty and unhygienic. Oh ok sure the rain will wash it all away...but still.... grrrr..I see KFC in your future oh chicken, if not that then drunken chicken ahhaha.

What else ya? Work is still work. Still don't like it though I do like the money, gee who doesn't?

Cats are alive and well, except for loose poops. Still smell awful. Don't think that will change into flowery smell ahahhaha. Oh I can dream big impossible dream :D.

Happy New Year :D

Happy New Year :D

Happy New Year to my family and friends, near and far. Let us all be happy, healthy and safe in this new year.