sleep is important

and I also do not like to be woken up because of unnecessary noise such as people talking out loud, making jokes, watching YouTube or video online on FB with the volume up and no sense to use the earphones.

SHIT!!

No this was last night. I tried to go back to sleep but just could not do it.

I picked up a book and read....and read...and read....

She said oooohhh Fiona bangun sudah.....(idiot)......

I read and read...she keeps watching videos online with the volume up.....

I read and read.............then when she was sleepy already (but I wasn't anymore) she said something about sleep after she comes back from the toilet.....I think she was talking to me but i was reading remember....I kept quiet....she came back.....went up to her bed....and.......turned on her radio phone thingy and listened to music..............is that sleeping then??

So I read and read....then she turns it off at I don't know what time but then later I became so sleepy but managed to look at the time before turning in.....it was 2.45 am. I sleep ..............

and woke up suddenly because of the light...not from the sun ....my other roommate didn't turn it off (she was still awake and chatting online when I went to sleep...for the second time) and I looked at the time....it was 6 am. Wow....nicely done......

And just now at 8.30pm...they came back from dinner and turned off the light in the room saying Earth Hour....Earth Hour my ass....

TGIF

Yeahh...it is Friday :D the weekends are finally here....

My Maths lect. came today for my class at 11 am. But because of the sports the kids have to train for kawad and perbarisan. So from 37 girls left only 4. I still have to continue with the lesson because of the lecturer. So I taught them. Remember I only have 4 students at that time.

So afterwards, my lecturer gives me his feedback. Not good at all. He said that I have a very monotonic voice and I should raise it up and lower it down, have a variety, shout and speak softly....but...why should I shout when I only have 4 kids there with me? Hmmm.

Then he said I should walk around the classroom....ummm...only 4 kids remember...I asked them to sit together in front, so I don't have to walk around the classroom...why should I? I would look crazy if I do that when I only have 4 kids with me....sot....

Then he said why didn't I use LCD for the questions that we did in class just now? Ummm....I already told you, it was suppposed to be group work questions but because almost all of them have to leave the classroom, and I know 2 out of 4 kids have problems with doing the word problems themselves, that was why we did the discussion one question at a time. And it would not work if I show the questions using LCD because how then would the kids underline and circle the necessary information? Can he said.... how??? Aduiiiiii sottttt....

Then lastly he said he did not give marks for today's lesson because only 4 kids with me. He will come again next week on Wednesday. Our sports day is on Thursday, and I am sure they will have a last minute practice of kawad or perbarisan or whatever which will make the students disappear from class. Which means most probably I will be left with 4 kids again on Wednesday...ah never mind he said.....THEN...why not give marks for today's class??????

ARGHHHHHHHhh...............

Then he said something about wanting proof of what we have done in this school in terms of co-curriculum and stuff... so he wants pictures....got those pictures from A. I looked through it just now...ahhahahaha...guess what...not so many pics of me..but lots of pics of the owh-so-pretty-me-I-am-perfect-kalau-sudah-bida-mimang-bida-pakai-BB cream-pun-sama-juga-bida (that was what she said to me in Guardian today). Dunno if she was referring to me or to someone else...but really, what a rude and bad thing to say. Well, I rather be that *bida* and work on my insides and be sincere and do the best I can even though I know I make mistakes than be a pretty face and not pretty in the insides, always making fun of other people saying ooo look how fat she is...ugly...the way she is walking....her face looks old...lots of acne...he is not handsome but has a house, car, motorcycle....he is not handsome but his father is a pastor....he has lots of money but he is short .....so many guys want me....kura-kura....fat.....blabalabalabnallala....yuck!

So anywhoo....not so many pictures of me but can do la...the reason not so much pictures is because I don't like asking people to take my picture...especially her...because when she takes my picture, she will make it look bad...like the pictures of me that she took in Cameron...turned out bad most of it. And when she takes my picture she has this look on her face that she feels somehow disgusted....hate that..or maybe I am paranoid....hmmm....

Found out that the exam could probably be in 3 or 2 weeks after practical ends...so the end could be near...then have interviews etc....if it is true that we will be posted as soon as after the interview, then I could have less than 3 or 4 months here near him....so near yet so far....I wonder how it will be after posting and if I get a place far away......will he look for me? Try to call or send letters or emails or sms? hmmmmm....

Wednesday.......

Ugh...meeting finish at 3.30 pm, went and tapau food for lunch...oooohhh dinner...so hungry...

Got into a taxi, asked to be driven back to hostel using the same directions given to other taxi drivers. Said ok, but then proceeded to take us round and round...finally had to tell him to go into UM and out the next and go to the place next to the stadium. Keep playing with his knobs...err..radio knobs. Keep putting the volume up high when there is a song, lowering the volume when its advertisement and changing the channel, not really concentrating on driving.

Total taxi fare that we had to pay was Rm9.30 when it would usually cost us Rm8.00 below.

Crazy!!

Tomorrow we have sports raptai, full raptai so most probably no class till afternoon. Have to wear baju sukan. Friday most probably I will be observed for Maths, hopefully there won't be any problems or the school won't do another raptai.

No sms or return call last nite.

Missing something

I miss home. I miss my cats. I miss cooking in the kitchen, making up my own 'recipe' ahahha kinda...i miss eating good food.

Today I had breakfast and lunch. My dinner is a bun and a few biscuits with coffee, my second one today. I had tea with breakfast. Too much caffeine?

I soooo want to read right now, just lie down and read but I have to finish this teaching aids first. I want to do a lot of things with them tomorrow but looking at the kids today, they were tired and not really focusing on the lesson. They had a kawad session and training for sports this morning before my lesson. Same thing will be happening tomorrow so .... hmmm.

Tuesday Tosday Tuesday

So I called but was told will get back to me later by sms, but none received.

I called just now and it rings till voicemail. Second time I tried and it went straight to voicemail. Either turned off after saw my name or ran out of batteries.

Will I get any sms or call back to return the call tonight? Who knows, wait and see.

Now I have to figure out how to do the activity I have planned out for the kids, I need to print out a lot of words or I have to print out the outline and fill in the space with black marker pen. Or I might just write out all the words that I want. Yeah that sounds easy enough. But what about the pictures? With colours? Print out in grayscale and colour it myself? Yeah doable, I might just do that.

FYI: I went to Lowyat and got the speaker before I realized the printer needed inks. That I admit I did not check.

FYI2: I enjoy reading Lamebook ahahhaa.....fun. Google it and see what it is about.

Monday Munday Monday

Had trouble waking up early this morning but I managed to get up early anyway. Felt like not enough sleep but have to go to school.

Feel very sleepy during the assembly, maybe because of the breakfast that I had or not enough sleep hehhee. Nothing interesting happened except for the announcement about the sports that they will be having soon. Some students or all of them will be out of the classroom to have some practise. This will be before recess but some said that it would continue after recess, don't really know. Have to wait and see. I have 2 Maths class before recess. I have to be observed by the lecturer 2 more times, he said he will be coming this Friday, hopefully I can have the class and nothing else happen with the projector.

Observation for the English class, none yet from the lecturer but only once from the cooperating teacher. I hope I did well enough for her in today's class though I guess I could do better. I could always do better. I have no idea what to do for activity for the English Literature class on Wednesday, thinking of doing scramble sentences, group work and arranging the picture cards and retelling of the story in front of the class. Hmmmmm. Dunno.

I have prepared almost everything needed for tomorrow Maths class but I was told (kinda) by the Maths teacher that I have to do the checking of the Maths questions with the pupils. Check the marks and so on. Have to wait and see also.

So about the thing yesterday, I have apologized and asked him something but no reply. Busy or don't want to reply, dunno. I'm battling in deciding whether to call or not. Should I call?

As a bee.

I thought too much about it...again...and have obsessed about it, surfed the net about it, thoughts of what ifs etc...

And what do I get from all of it? Nothing. Nothing but tears and a feeling that I might have pushed him farther away.

Why do I keep doing it? Because I wonder and wanted to know why. I should understand and yes I do understand, but sometimes I just wonder why.

Going Back

soon. Really not looking forward to it.

Just have to remind myself that it will be over soon and on to new places and experiencing hopefully much better experience, but I am thankful for the experience I have now, teaches me tolerance and acceptance...which I still need work on...everyone should work on that.

I gave my cats a bath this afternoon...not fun. But they smell really nice now and their furs smooth and soft :). I will miss them dearly, like I would miss my family and the comforts of home and familiarity of it all.

First there were many,

Nights of laughter and openness and getting to know one another,

Second came the thrice a week thing,

Third was the twice a week,

Now it varies with once a week or,

Nothing at all,

If I didn't seek you out.

What will happen then,

If I didn't seek you out?

Would I hear from you again?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,

Or forget.

I hope its the first,

Not the latter.

I'll try not to think much of it.